Thursday, May 1, 2014

That song

That song ... you recognize it immediately. From the first few notes, you know it's that song. On my drive home tonight, I was stopped at a traffic light and my mind started to wander. Then, I heard them ... the first few notes of that song ... one of our songs.

For our first dance during our wedding reception, Steve and I decided we both would choose a song to dance to, to sort of dedicate to each other. So, I guess they were our first dances! The song I chose was popular at the time and probably played as the first dance at every wedding that year. Still, I loved the words to the song and wanted to dance to "From This Moment On" with Steve.

As I sat in the car, stopped at the traffic light, that song began:

"From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on"

I immediately was transported back to the dance floor, remembering our wedding and remembering Steve. My eyes got teary.

It's amazing how music can transport us to a different time.

I listened intently to each word.

As I drove home, I continued to think of Steve. It can still feel so surreal. Even nearly five years later, I can question, "Did that really happen?" or "Did Steve really die?" Weren't we just sitting at the cousins' table at another wedding?Just as quickly as I question it, I remember that day and know it did happen. He did die.

As fellow widows often say ... "Death Sucks," but love lives on. It's not the same. But, love does live on. Sometimes that love is eclipsed by anger or sadness. But, it's still there. Nearly five years later, I am coming to appreciate that there is love in heaven and here on Earth. I feel blessed to have both.

And, as for the song Steve had played for me ... "Let's Stay Together" by the great Al Green. For a long time I couldn't bear to listen to that song. The words actually made me mad ...

"Let's stay together
Lovin' you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad"

Oh, the power of music! 

But, tonight, as I listened to "From This Moment On," I wasn't sad. I was just remembering.

And, the journey continues.